Rejection is a touchy subject for so many of us, including myself. We all want to be doted on, embraced, and accepted. We want people to like what we do. We want to belong. Can I be honest and say sometimes we want that from a place that may not always be realistic or healthy. It’s absolutely important to have people in our lives who support us and spur us on the journey for our benefit, yes. God is kind enough to bring those connections into our lives. God is also kind enough to allow tension in those connections that mean a lot to us to show us our idols.
While there are situations that do need to be handled with care and sometimes separation is important when something is unhealthy. I also think that God allows rejection for our benefit. At the moment, it doesn’t feel good, but we can be quick to demean others and go on passive-aggressive social media tirades about not needing any new friends. Let’s just say, that has been me. What about if we paused our reactions and asked, “God, what are you trying to teach me in this?”
I don’t think God is rubbing his hands (bird-man hand rub) with a mischievous grin saying, “I am going to set up these hard situations, so I can teach them a lesson.” Rather, I think He allows them for our benefit – for character development. I am so thankful for these past few years and for sitting with Him to do the work concerning rejection. I had to come face to face with questions like, “Why does this hurt so bad and why do I NEED to always be approved. Why does my worth and value always have to come into question when someone doesn’t embrace me how I would like?” He has shown me how I have silently wanted applause and approval to feel better about myself. I am so glad that He allowed rejection because it gave me perspective. I am so glad that certain individuals did not clap for me because He knew it would push me to Him — feeling forgotten, the heartbreak, the pain, the rejection. Thank God it happened. It has given me insight I never thought I could embrace. It has made me the woman I am today.
I know across the board there might be some hard things you have faced this year. Things that are not yet reconciled. Pain that is yet to heal and connections that are yet to be restored. I have come to a place of thankfulness and gratitude to Him, despite things not working the way I would have hoped. I am so thankful for the places that those who I would have hoped would have supported me – did not. I am thankful for the doors that God chose to close. I am thankful for the times I felt unseen and forgotten because He needed me to see that I am seen by Him. That He was using the pain all along for my deliverance. How would we know that God restores/delivers if we never go through things? God will allow certain things to happen not because people are inherently bad. Sometimes He allows it to push us to our need for Him. To show us that the ultimate approval and praise we need is from Him and Him alone.
To the one nursing the wounds of rejection I hope you know there is space for you to FEEL ALL THE THINGS. You do not have to act unbothered. You can allow yourself to expose it so that you can heal. I hope the tips below will be a catalyst for your healing. You’re so loved. Always.
Resource: A great read to help in this area is Uninvited by Lysa Terkeurst. I highly recommend it!
Capturing destiny together,
Things to consider:
What hurts? – Allow yourself to feel it out. How did the rejection make you feel?
What did the rejection tell you? Did it tell you that you weren’t enough? Unworthy? Name it.
Surround yourself. -Community is so important and sometimes we just need our people to remind us of what is true
Lean in. – When it feels overwhelming it’s easy to run away from the Lord. I recommend leaning in. Sitting with Him. Letting Him show you, you. All of you. The messy you. No perfection is needed or required.
Hold onto what is true. – In the height of rejection it’s easy to think the worst of ourselves. But what is true? What is true about the essence of you? Hold onto that as you are healing.