The Home Within.

I’m grown for real.

I’m sure this is what every millennial in their 30s is thinking right now. We are no longer what the world once deemed as spoiled and lacked focus when it came to our careers. We are now sinking into careers, families, and personal growth. We are grown FOR REAL.

With growth comes autonomy over our lives and schedules. Having a vision for the life we desire, and walking towards that goal. That has been huge for me. I realized how I had been living before the pandemic was not a life I wanted to go back to. I wanted something different. Which meant switching up everything that I knew.

Ever felt like you were at the mercy of everyone around you? I have. I took a hard look within and realized that something wasn’t working for me anymore. Not in this big age anyway. What I did in my 20s, was no longer the path that was sustainable in my 30s.

I am more than the advice I give, more than being a sounding board for others, more than a shoulder to lean on. While these are things that will always be true of me, I stopped making an idol out of what the world viewed me as. I was more than my career, titles, and roles. It was simply me. More introverted than people think. And I wanted to cultivate my essence without trying to find validation in others. To enjoy my life and the blessings that God has given me. To not be caught up in always having a plan or trying to ideate. That there is a time and a place for all of that. Success in this season was not about always coming up with a new idea, but being able to embrace the now.

I have traveled so much since March and it’s taught me so much about myself. From Vegas, California, New York, Minnesota, New Mexico, all through Texas, and more trips to close out the year. It is hard to focus on multiple things when I travel, so it has been the reset I needed. It’s been exhausting, but it’s been some of the best experiences of my life. From meeting FINE men (HELLO) to being open. Being exposed to new foods – hello japchae. It’s been spontaneity and allowing myself to be childlike. Can we say jumping into pools fully clothed and worrying about the consequences later? HA! I have enjoyed meeting new people and being exposed to new conversations.

This season has been full of finding ME in Him over and over again. Learning about God in new ways, and embracing that. It has also been full of making a home within, which has opened my eyes to the beauty of simple joys.

I love it here. I love cultivating my voice and my NO and still being loving. I love the peace that flows through me. I love being unbothered by what erryyybawdy else is doing. I love celebrating what others are doing while being cozy in my season. Drinking my coffee and minding my business.

I’m grateful for my pace. Being present and slowing down. 25-year-old me COULD NEVVAAAA.

-Des